At this point, I wanted to run away, run away from everyone, run away from who I am, get out, and in a sesne set my spirit free. I wanted to run away to the mountains, and I even had a plan of how I would do it, and I knew if I did, it would be crazy, but after all, I am a die hard! But when I kept wanting to, for some reason I could'nt, something inside me that would'nt let me. It was'nt that I was afraid, but I did not want to leave my family, and people would worry. And there was something else... but at the time I just was'nt sure. So as I kept getting tempted, at school, which I was'nt very good at, I would some times just put my head down and just cry. And not just like your sad about something, but a complete feeling of hoplessness. A feeling of being so alone in the world, and that I've got nothing and that everyone is better than me. It started to make me even a bit crazy, but as before, I would'nt show it to the people I cared about. And it was'nt like I planned on running away, I was going too!